Sunday, June 19, 2016

TRY NOT TO GET YOURSELF TRAPPED IN THIS POST...

A NEW PIECE CALLED "TAKING THE LIFT"...

Hello beasties!

This week I have a new prose piece for you - it was inspired mostly by the lift at work and by the idea that this lift might have a life of its own... I wasn't 100% sure where the story was going to go until I started writing it; initially it was going to be about a man who had this communication with the lift and then eventually decided to use it to help him end his life - but then I came up with the added twist. Anyway. Read it and see what you think.

Moving on, for those of you who missed it - last weekend I launched a rather unexpected barrage of new material. The two posts which contains links to a new podcast episode, photos, prose and a new Shy Yeti sketch are as follows:
 
http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2016_06_05_archive.html
 
http://thedaffypoet.blogspot.co.uk/2016_06_12_archive.html

I've also been busy recording interviews for THE SHY LIFE PODCAST. I did one with my old school friend Harry F where we discussed everything from French and Saunders to how I once dressed Harry up to look like a very cheap robot for an episode of Sutton Park. We talked so much that there is enough to spread it across two episodes. I've also recorded a lot of other bits and pieces - and discovered that it's quite fun to just sit on the train or the bus and talk into the phone as if you're making a call, but in fact I'm chatting to the listeners. Even going back to when I was recording my poetry albums I enjoyed recording in different locations - both outdoors and in - partly to get the different sound qualities. Also, it allows me to record when I'm out and about - rather like I did when I was filming SUTTON PARK; but recording a podcast is rather more unobtrusive that blundering about with a lot of props and bizarre puppets.

In forthcoming episodes of the podcast I have also had a go at recording a monologue that appeared on this blog back in February, concerning one of my characters talking about her trip to Nice and I've tinkered with the sound a bit to give myself a slightly more feminine sounding voice. It still does sound kind of odd - but it's probably better than me just playing the character in my own voice. This also gave me the idea to record the first of my SHY YETI sketches - which also first appeared here on the blog. Again, in the first episode I have played all the characters - but just modulated the voices slightly. In later episodes I might find that I'm able to get one or two of my friends to play some of the other characters - but we'll see how it goes. It would be nice to have audio versions of the sketches, as well as having them available in print. Another on-going project!!

Episode 5 is now available - with the first half of Harry's interview and the Nice sketch amongst other things - details, as follows:

THE SHY LIFE PODCAST - 5: IT'S "NICE" TO BE NOSTALGIC

In which Mr Yeti attempts to present a monologue and talks about school days with Harry!

Episode FIVE!! We're longer still this week!! This time we have a monologue which first appeared on this blog - both Dameus and Yeti Uncle John are back to make comment. Our special guest is one of my oldest friends, Harry; this is part one of a two part interview where we chat about our school days, making films together and our shared music and TV favourites. Speaking of which, I also have a bit of a natter about what I've currently been watching! Thanks to Harry for speaking with me - we'll be back before the end of the month... Please email me at shyyeti@yahoo.co.uk if you have any comments. The music was by Shy Yeti. This episode and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016. Episode 5 was recorded between the 12th and the 14th June 2016.

Soundcloud link:
https://soundcloud.com/shyyeti/the-shy-life-podcast-5-its-nice-to-be-nostalgic

This episode can also be downloaded from iTunes, Acast and also directly from libsyn.

As far as future podcasts go, I have a number of other guests lined up - for instance I hope to interview my poet-side-kick, John Smallshaw - most probably when we are getting ready for our show in July. I'm also hoping to go on local radio again soon - not to mention chatting with a lady to whom I am affectionately known as "hubby number one..." I will also be interviewing some guests from my home town - somebody who I currently work with - not to mention interviewing my first overseas guest and also presenting you with a little drama during August, to be recorded when I'm away in Kent. So there is quite a lot lined up to get us well into double figures, episode wise.

Before we go...

The photos in this post were taken in Guildford on Saturday 21st May 2016. I didn't do any recording that day, but I think the photos came out nicely; so I hope you like them too... I'm pretty sure that there's far too many photos of me on this blog - so I think you deserve some true beauty instead this time.
 
Next time I should have a new Shy Yeti script for you and the week after that; well, we'll be thinking about July's Poetry CafĂ©  show - and there will be probably be further podcast episodes to tell you about too.

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

P.S. Just to let you know... TAKING THE LIFT was written between Monday 9th May and Friday 10th June 2016, with formatting and brief rewrites taking place until the date of publication.

TAKING THE LIFT


I lose count how many times I've been told off for taking the lift...

You should walk... 
It's lazy...
You should take the stairs... 
It's better for you...

I never used to feel that way -
I knew a man who had a heart attack because he insisted on walking the six floor to his office every day...
That never helped him...
So, I was always quite against the stairs -
I was all for the lift...
I made my own choices -
But they've changed over time...
But it has less to do with health;
More peace of mind...

It's a strange tale I must tell...
A story of symbiosis - of man and machine...
Don't believe me - you don't have to...
But at very least, please bear with me to the end...

You see I've worked here in this building so long -
That I truly feel that I know it well...
When I say "know it", I mean it too -
As well as I know any person -
To the point that I can almost communicate with it...
And this is particularly the case with the lift...
It almost seems to know when I'm coming...
It's doors open to greet me -
"It's the door sensor..." claimed my colleague, Charlotte -
But I know full well that it's not worked in years...
There's no telling her, of course; ever the sceptic!
Sometimes, when I pass the lift but do not intend to travel...
The doors will open hopefully and I feel bad!
I apologise and give a wave -
Sometimes I've even taken a journey just for journey's sake...
To keep the lift happy...
For when sad it simply shuts down; it definitely has moods...
Not just moods - but it makes noises;
It's stomach murmurs and grumbles like it's hungry...
I really think it might be too...

Between you and I -
Sometimes I have deliberately sent people to use the lift -
When they didn't actually need to...
Mostly just having the people inside it keeps the lift happy...
It usually seems to ease those hunger pangs; stops the grumbles.
But once I sent some visitors to the top floor -
And they never arrived...
They never emerged - not at all...
Who knows what became of them...
I try not to think too hard about it...
It's easier to turn a blind eye...

I've had dreams of that lift before...
It's what has led me here today...
I would say that it was less a dream and more a vision...
A vision of what is perhaps meant to come...
You see, life just wasn't holding the joy that once it had for me...
I'd been looking for a way out for quite some time;
Just not had the strength to make that final step...
My vision had given me the answer though;
Had set out clearly the most obvious solution...
To let the lift help me on my way...

In my mind I imagined one final journey...
I saw myself walking to the lift...
The doors opening automatically...
"Take me to the top..." I hear myself say, pressing no buttons.
"Take me to the very top..."
We travel up - and time passes quickly...
Then when we reach our destination...
I sigh - then I speak again.
"Drop me..." and drop me it does...

So, I was ready to live this vision for real...
Standing there; having boarded the lift on the ground floor -
This time I wasn't dreaming - although I felt numb...
Slightly dizzy, as I allowed it to take me to the top...
The words poised on my lips...
"Drop... Drop... Drop me down!"
Only, it was right then that the doors opened...
There before me stood the Top Man and his party of delegates...
I say nothing, just get out of the way...
Instinctively knowing I that there is not enough room for us all...
I must give up my space for these visitors...
This is not the moment for me to take my final journey...
Only... only... Words hang from my lip -
And as I step from the lift I hear them slip...
"Drop... Drop... Drop me down!"
The words are said; the visitors have passed me...
The doors have closed behind me...

Too late... Too late...

Only in a way it made me realise how precious life is...
How throwing one's life away needlessly isn't to be recommended...
I mean, sometimes there is no escaping it; no going back...
One must do what one must do - I'm not judging...
Only for me - well, this experience pulled me back from the edge...
It's very trite of me to say so, but...
There is always somebody worse off than you are...
The Top Man and his delegates, for one...
Still... For me this experience helped me through my darkness...
It made me re-evaluate my priorities...
I'm grateful for what the lift taught me -
It both got me into trouble and saved my life...

Needless to say, I now take the stairs...

This post and all contents are Copyright Paul Chandler, 2016.

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