Wednesday, September 03, 2014

BEASTLY NEWS BEASTIES!!






















ONE NEW BOOK - ANOTHER ONE ON IT'S WAY!


Hello beasties!

I've some exciting news - although it's not of a poetic nature. I will return to discussions of poetry as I am still busy working on the final version of A YETI WAY OF THINKING - but I'd like to discuss another project first; we'll get to poetry in a minute...

I am very pleased to be able to announce the release of the second series of THE BEAST OF FRIENDS - here's a bit more information:

THE BEAST OF FRIENDS - SERIES TWO is the second series of eight radio scripts concerning a number of curious characters; an amphibian journalist known as Horner, a witch called Katrina, Clive - a robotic clock, Cromitty – a voodoo doll, a werewolf named Colin and a fellow named Warren who had a very strange upbringing! This series, written between 2012 and 2014 continues to explore their adventures - all under one roof!

Paperback Edition: http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/the-beast-of-friends---series-two/14731202 £6.99

Hardback Edition: http://www.lulu.com/content/hardcover-book/the-beast-of-friends---series-2/15097921 £9.99

To be fair there is at least one poem contained in this book - not to mention a cameo by Shy Yeti himself... Or at least a version of him/me! In case you need any further encouragement here's a bit more about each of the stories...

SCRIPT 1: AUDITIONING HOUSE-MATES…

This episode sees Horner returning from his “Skin-Time” only to find that the tenants have been sub-letting his room to a wood-louse named Oliver.

SCRIPT 2: THE BIG BIRTHDAY…

Colin reaches a very important birthday and treats the housemates to a trip to Paris – which doesn’t go too well when they bump into Warren’s weird family out there.

SCRIPT 3: THE EVEN BIGGER BIRTHDAY…

Clive falls in love with a dust cart, Katrina steals The Eiffel Tower just to show off and Horner helps Warren pull the wool over his mother’s eyes!

SCRIPT 4: ZOMBIE TAXI-DRIVER FROM HULL…

Horner encounters a zombie who has just taken a new job as a taxi-driver. It turns out that he intends to eat his customers to gain “the knowledge” to do his job better!

SCRIPT 5: MICE WORK IF YOU CAN GET IT!

Oliver asks Horner to help out at a conference run by The Mouse of Commons and Lords – although Horner gets crossed wires about what he is required to do!

SCRIPT 6: INSPIRATION FOR A YETI...

Cromitty has sub-let his room to a play-writing yeti that is using their lives as a template for his new play about squalor and scandal in middle-class suburbia…

SCRIPT 7: MINI MYTHICAL BEASTS...

Katrina buys some mini mythical beasts from a jumble sale - they escape around the house and cause all manner of problems to the residents...

SCRIPT 8: THE BEAST MAN IS NOT THE GROOM

Clive and Cromitty have moved out of the house to form a comedy double-act. Meanwhile, Horner is about to get married to a toad that he met on the internet who he claims is actually a princess, but Warren suspects that something is very wrong!

I'd like to remind you that you can still get copies of Series 1 from the following links and I can confirm that both Series 3 and the final Series 4 are already in the can - as good as complete; being busily polished by Junior Yeti even as I type.

Paperback edition: http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/the-beast-of-friends-series-one/paperback/product-20275760.html 112 Pages / £5.99

Hardback edition: http://www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/the-beast-of-friends-series-one/hardcover/product-21186706.html 112 Pages / £11.99

Anyway - enough about beasts and onto poetry proper...

I'd also like the unveil the finished line-up of my next collection, although I doubt if it'll be out before early-mid 2015 at the moment as I'm not progressing very quickly with the formatting side of the project and need to weed down some of the "Behind The Scene" moments first featured here on my blog covering the almost two years that I was working on material for this collection. What I can confirm is that there are 82 new poems, stories or prose pieces contained within the collection - here are the titles.

A YETI WAY OF THINKING...

ALL A BIT NUTS...
ALMOST GONE...
THE ANSWER’S NO...
ARE THEY AWARE I’M A WEREWOLF?                   
AUGUSTUS THE TRUSTY GUIDANCE PIG
BADGER
THE BALLAD OF BURT AND GRIS...
THE BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE...
BORN WITHOUT A FUNNY BONE...
CEDRIC THE CEREAL KILLER...
CHECK UP, CHECK OUT...
CREATIVELY PROMISCUOUS...
A CULT FOLLOWING
DO YOU WANT TO SPEND YOUR LIFE WITH ME?
THE DREADED LURGY
EIGHT SUPER LITTLE PILLS
ENOUGH OF YOUR SAUCE...
THE FLIRT
FRIDAY THE 13TH (MY FAVOURITE DAY)...
GAME PLAN...
GERIATRIC MERMAID
GIN GOBLINS...
THE GORGEOUS DEAD...
GRANNY ATE MY AFTER-BIRTH...
HANGING OUT IN GRAVEYARDS WITH MY SWEETHEART... 
A HAPPY YETI HOWL... 
A HARMLESS PRANK... 
HIS CHRISTMAS CARDS...
THE ICE IN MY GLASS... 
AN IDEAL WORLD... 

AN IDIOT IN LOVE...
IF ONLY... 
INFAMY AND CURRANT BUNS...
INFORMATION IS A WONDERFUL THING
IN MEMORY OF...
IN PLACE OF A HEART...
IT ONLY TAKES A MOUSE TO SNEEZE
IT’S NOT SAFE TO GO OUTSIDE...
I USED TO BE A TEN
JUST ONE DAY (BEING YOU)... 
KOFFIE HUIS DE HOEK... 
THE LOCH NESS HAMSTER... 
LOVED FOR WHAT YOU’RE NOT...
MAKE ALL APPLAUSE COUNT...
MAN, MANHANDLED
THE MORNING AFTER HALLOWEEN
MY BACON-FLAVOURED BABY... 
MY NEW YEAR HANGOVER... 
MYSTERY HEN
THE ONE...
ONE LAST NIGHT
ON FIRST NAME TERMS WITH LOVE
ONION MAN
A PERFECT CASE FOR CHARITY
PICCADILLY IS A RUBBISH CIRCUS
POLLEN SEASON
RUNNING ON EMPTY
SANDY FROM THE FUTURE...
SASSY MISS SASQUATCH...
THE SAVAGES OF WESTMINSTER...
SCABBY DONKEY
THE SEX LIVES OF (EVIL) WITCHES...
SHORT-SLEEVED BEE SUIT
SOMETIMES A HUG IS ENOUGH...
SPACE-CAKES 
A SPIDER IN THE BATH...
THE STUPIDITY OF BIRDS (A FLIGHT OF FANCY)...
SUICIDAL PIGEON...
TALKING WITH ANIMALS
TEN INCHES
TINSEL…
TWO VAMPIRE HUNTING YETI...
UNTIL THE COWS ALL COME HOME...
WE’RE ALL STARS TODAY...
WHEN THE SINGER LOST HER SONG...
A YETI WAY OF THINKING...
YOU’RE DEAD TO ME...
YOU CAN’T TRUST A MAN WITH A BEARD...
YOU’LL DO...
YOUR NIGHTMARES...
ZOMBIE SQUIRRELS IN MY GARDEN
ZOMBIE TAXI-DRIVER

So there you go... That's it for now! Next time I'll probably be updating you on how my next live show went. Just in case you've forgotten the next Shy Yeti And John Smallshaw Show is at The Poetry Café on Wednesday 17th September 2014 at 19.30. I do hope you'll try and make it if you're free!

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx



This post and all content are Copyright Paul Chandler 2014





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