Tuesday, December 24, 2013

A VERY GORY CHRISTMAS - 2013!!

"TINSEL..." - A CHRISTMAS STORY


Hi beasties!

Just a quick hello to wish you all MERRY CHRISTMAS and to thank you for supporting me during 2013!

As promised last week - here is a short story for you called, TINSEL. 
It's really rather macabre, but hopefully will teach you a lesson about not taking your Christmas decorations for granted!

See you all in 2014!! More in January...

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx




TINSEL


The party is in full swing - the music plays, the revellers revel...

There he stands - tinsel-coated, wrapping it around his bare shoulders like a boa...

Pretending that he's some kind of glamorous drag queen...

Maybe he's auditioning to be the company Christmas tree, some other year.

"Look at me!" he cries drunkenly, but nobody really notices him nor laughs.

He is determined to get some attention; he wants to be the belle of the ball.

He wants to be the one going home with somebody nice, someone unexpected...

Someone who will probably wake up in the morning and wince,

"How on earth did he get here? Somebody MUST have spiked my drinks!"

It is the show offs that always succeed in pulling...

So tonight he is going to be that guy and take home the prize.

He grabs another glass of bubbly and then reaches for another handful of tinsel.

It is still attached to the tree, but he doesn't let that stop him...

The whole thing wobbles slightly, but he has what he wants...

Another great length of shiny, glitteriness to wrap about his person.

He has already removed his shirt - now's time to kick off his shoes...

Pull off his socks and drop his trousers; not quite ready to remove his pants yet...

Save that for last should it become necessary to really impress...

He wraps more tinsel around himself - covering his belly slightly...

It's a fine disguise and one that he must use in future!

He threads more baubles onto his costume - deciding to wear a pair as ear-rings...

"Look at me!" he calls out again. "I'm the fairy on top of the tree..."

Still nobody seems to notice; there is laughter - but it is not directed at him.

Still desperate for attention he heads in their direction...

However as he does he finds tinsel tangled about his legs and trips over his feet...

Slightly bruised he laughs at himself - hoping perhaps that he's been spotted...

But no, the party-goers are still facing the bar and so he attempts to pick himself up...

The tinsel seems to be increasing its grip; but he's almost too drunk to notice at first!

But then... he begins to take it in - there before his eyes the tinsel is growing...

It is sprouting out new sparkly shoots and winding its way up his body...

He tries to fight against them, but it is like trying to break through wire...

Quickly the tinsel has bound his wrists - has wrapped around his chest...

The original boa has tightened around his throat and is gently choking him...

"Look at me!" he gasps, hardly knowing what is happening. "Look! Help me..."

"No..." hisses the tinsel. "Look at me... I am beautiful... I am shiny... Look at ME!"

But they still don't look - the Christmas drinkers have noticed neither the decoration -

Nor the now silent strangled show-off, dead amongst the canapes...

Such a shame for they have missed the highlight of the evening's entertainments...

They don't seem to mind too much though; what they don't know, etcetera...

The party remains in full swing - the music plays, the revellers revel...

Snake-like the tinsel wraps itself around his corpse...

...and slowly it begins to digest him...


Merry Christmas.

TINSEL... Copyright Paul Chandler 2013

Thursday, December 19, 2013

SHY YETI RE-VISITS FRANCE...

A RETURN TO NICE...

Hello beasties!!

As I mentioned last week there won't be a SHY YETI Christmas film for 2013, although last year's is still available at: http://youtu.be/vPsvG2l2bWc and there are other snowy films, such as: http://youtu.be/h6Y8QDdE53Y

Hopefully I'll have something ready for you early in the new year - as I've filmed quite a lot this year, on all my holidays, just not had the time to edit them.

This week I'm going to share with you some photos from my November trip to Nice, but before I begin, may I just remind you that my new book, NOT AS SHY AS I WAS, is out and available to purchase. I'll maybe share some new pieces from that in the New Year, although you may find a number of the pieces familiar from either the blog or from my yeti films...

NOT AS SHY AS I WAS contains over 70 new poems, stories and vignettes by Paul Chandler, a.k.a. Shy Yeti, written between January and September 2012. They include: THE BEAST OF FRIENDS, DRUNK ELK, ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, EVIL IVY, MINE OWN MINOTAUR, ONCE I LOST MY HEART TO A CORNISH PASTY, A YETI IN A HAT and many more… NOT AS SHY AS I WAS is 288 pages long and contains photos by Paul Chandler and artwork by Adam M Botsford, Paul Webster and Pete Katsiaounis.            

Paperback: www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/not-as-shy-as-i-was/14135195 £9.99

Hardback: www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/not-as-shy-as-i-was/hardcover/product-21317217.html £15.99

...And so, now we move on to France...

SHY YETI'S PHOTO GALLERY OF NICE...

This was my second trip to Nice, my first one was back in Autumn 2009 with Harry - this time I was accompanied by Toby W, who also came with me to the Lakes back in the Summer. We were there between Wednesday 13th and Sunday 17th November 2013. As well as exploring Nice, we also visited the towns of Antibes and Menton - the former was a very nice little French coastal town, whereas the latter was a mixture of old and new and overlooked the border between France and Italy.

In an ideal world I would have filmed a couple of episodes in both Florence and Nice, but in the end I filmed just the one set in both cities - that is unless I decide to bulk them out with footage from my November 2013 Poetry Café show... At least I managed to film something! You'll get to see, at some stage!




That's it for now... Next week I'll be sharing with you a short Christmas-themed story... It's not a very friendly one, to be honest - but what do you expect!

So, more on Christmas Eve!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx



All content of this blog is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013, except for any photos taken by Toby.

Thursday, December 12, 2013

SHY YETI RE-VISITS ITALY...

A RETURN TO FLORENCE...

Hello beasties!!

I can't promise anything too strenuous between now and the new year - there will be no new SHY YETI Christmas film for 2013, although last year's is still available at: http://youtu.be/vPsvG2l2bWc and there are other snowy films, such as: http://youtu.be/h6Y8QDdE53Y

I would like to be able to present you with a new yeti film soon, but that may not be until the new year now - believe me, even though I'm not editing I am still filming things to squirrel away for a rainy day! (Or a day when my editing equipment doesn't let me down...)

This week I'm going to share with you some photos from my November trip to Florence and the surrounding area, next week I'll be doing the same with Nice. The week after that - probably Christmas Eve or roundabouts, I will be posting a Christmassy story for you! So there is *something* new for this Christmas - just no film!

Before I begin sharing the photos, may I just remind you that my new book, NOT AS SHY AS I WAS, is out and available to purchase. I'll maybe share some new pieces from that in the New Year, although you may find a number of the pieces familiar from either the blog or from my yeti films...

NOT AS SHY AS I WAS contains over 70 new poems, stories and vignettes by Paul Chandler, a.k.a. Shy Yeti, written between January and September 2012. They include: THE BEAST OF FRIENDS, DRUNK ELK, ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM, EVIL IVY, MINE OWN MINOTAUR, ONCE I LOST MY HEART TO A CORNISH PASTY, A YETI IN A HAT and many more… NOT AS SHY AS I WAS is 288 pages long and contains photos by Paul Chandler and artwork by Adam M Botsford, Paul Webster and Pete Katsiaounis.

Paperback: www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/not-as-shy-as-i-was/14135195 £9.99

Hardback: www.lulu.com/shop/paul-chandler/not-as-shy-as-i-was/hardcover/product-21317217.html £15.99

...And so, now we move on to Italy...

SHY YETI'S PHOTO GALLERY OF FLORENCE...

This was my second trip to Florence - my first being back in 2002 with my old school friend, Paul H. Paul was there for this trip too - along with his partner, Alex and my flatmate Calum. My other old school friend Harry F arrived on the Friday and there was even a special guest, Antonello, travelling over from Milan for the day on my birthday. Calum and I arrived on Wednesday 6th November - returning on Monday 11th November, Paul and Alex having returned the evening before... As well as exploring Florence we visited San Gimignano, Sienna and Pisa - eating lots of nice ice cream along the way!

In an ideal world I would have filmed a couple of episodes in both Florence and Nice, but in the end I probably filmed enough for one longer episode or two episodes perhaps padded out with footage from my November 2013 Poetry Café show. I did record links in both Florence and Nice and also read a poem live in each - there just wasn't the opportunity to yeti dance! Here are some of the photos...
 
 



















That's about it for now - next week I'll being showing you photos from Nice...

More soon!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

All content of this blog is Copyright Paul Chandler 2013.