Tuesday, December 22, 2009

HAPPY CHRISTMAS FROM THE DAFFY POET!!

Hello...

Just a quick hello and a chance to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Thank you to everybody who has supported me this year - either by coming to my gigs, buying a book, accompanying me to open mike nights because it's scary going on my own, reading the blog or just chuckling when a read you a silly poem in person or sending me a nice bit of feedback when I emailed you one... Extra-special thanks this year especially go to Kirk, Calum, Robert, Nick, Neph, Tom and Harry for their help and support when I was putting books together or practicing for my gigs. For a shy yeti such as myself to even be doing gigs all on my lonesome is a big step and so I'm very happy to look back and feel I've achieved quite a bit in the last 12 months...

2009 has been my most prolific year ever, I would think - at least poetting wise! The final total is yet undetermined, but I have completed more than 175 poems so far this year; however I'm sure I'll write a few more before the end of the year. I'm really happy with how things are going - to have published three new collections, with a 4th one on the way and another in the very early stages feel a very positive thing! I'm also really pleased that I put together my SHY YETI RULES O.K. collection as a slimmer volume that I'm happy introduces my poetry in a confidant manner. All these projects (not to mention my day job and Mouse of Commons work!) certainly kept me off the streets; except for when I've gone out onto the streets to take daft photos to illustrate the poems - but that's just fun.

Aside from writing the individual poems these are some of the highlights of the year for me...

JANUARY: Putting the finishing touches to IF POEMS WERE PIES and making starting the new year off with a visit to the Poetry Cafe open-mike night.

FEBRUARY: Publishing IF POEMS WERE PIES and starting my next collection CAVEMAN LOGIC...

MARCH: My first gig at The Poetry Cafe to celebrate the launch of IF POEMS WERE PIES, another trip to POETRY UNPLUGGED - whilst I already have 50 new poems almost ready for CAVEMAN LOGIC... On top of all that I also put together a new compilation of my poems since 1992 called SHY YETI RULES O.K.

APRIL: Out and about over the Easter holidays taking photos for my books and posing with SHY YETI RULES O.K. as I write the final few poems for CAVEMAN LOGIC.

MAY: CAVEMAN LOGIC is almost complete and I begin to work on THE SHY LIFE, whilst taking loads of photos on various days out as we move towards summer...

JUNE: More trips away to Hull, Bridlington and Beverley - so more photos and more poems for THE SHY LIFE... CAVEMAN LOGIC comes out late in the month, a couple of weeks earlier than expected! I have also begun to use BLOGTV to preview some of my new poems...

JULY: I spend a lot of time on BLOGTV trying out some of my new poems and on the 12th July have my first book launch of the year for all the new books, including my latest Mouse of Commons collection of short stories.

AUGUST: Two and a half weeks of this month are spent overseas - travelling from Munich along the Danube to Vienna and then onto Budapest. Loads of photos taken, a couple of poems completed, THE SHY LIFE is proofread and much fun is had too! :) I am also preparing for my next gig...

SEPTEMBER: CAVEMAN LOGIC gig and BLOGTV gig are the two biggest highlights - as well as a return to open-mike night towards the end of the month and the start of my next collection DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS?...

OCTOBER: My long weekend in Nice at the start of the month provides me with some new poems and plenty of photos for DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? (to be published early next year!) and the finishing touches are made to THE SHY LIFE.

NOVEMBER: THE SHY LIFE is published - another book launch and a trip to Krakow for my birthday which provides both photos and inspiration for DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS?

DECEMBER: Work on DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? continues, as I begin my next collection: LA MORT D'AMOUR/THE DEATH OF LOVE and post two Christmas poems from this new project...

As far as 2010 is concerned, I hope to be doing another gig in the spring and would like to go to a few more open-mike nights, not only at THE POETRY CAFE. I'd also like to go on BLOGTV a bit more again and try out some of the new poems from DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? before the book is finished. On the books front DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? should be published by March and I'll also keep working on LA MORT D'AMOUR/THE DEATH OF LOVE and see how that goes. 2010 is also the 10th anniversary of the first MOUSE OF COMMONS novel, so I want to do more mousey work to mark that occasion and the next book: POSTCARDS FROM MCWHISKERS should be out before the summer.

Unless I come up with something marvellous before new year - this may be my last post of 2009, so I want to finish with something new. As mentioned when I posted BLACKMAILING SANTA last week - my second Christmas offering is a rather dark and possibly quite depressing poem called CHRISTMASTIME FOR SKELETONS. I hope you enjoy it and the idea of a skeleton family celebrating (or not) Christmas isn't too disturbing for you. I'm sure Christmas Dr Who will be twice as unnerving - so it's just something to get you in the spooky festive mood!

I hope to post something more on the MOUSE OF COMMONS blog before Christmas - so do check that out around Christmas eve time...

Thanks again for all your support this year and if you didn't support me, then shame on you - I'd say Santa will come and spank you, but people like you probably enjoy that sort of thing! Tut! :)

Bye for now. Merry Christmas and a Happy 2010!!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xxx

PS I do hope you enjoy some of the festive photos posted here - as usual some of them have that certain shy yeti something! (ie: pulling daft and silly faces!!)

CHRISTMASTIME FOR SKELETONS


Christmastime for Mr Skeleton –
Isn’t like for you and I...
He has to steal to get his tinsel…
For he has no pennies left to buy!
But decorations are essential –
Yes, it’s all he seems to need…
He can't enjoy Christmas like we do…
Because he cannot really feed!
Give him pudding if you like –
But see it slide back out again…
Watch gravy dripping off his bones –
It's simply better to abstain!
He may once upon a time have –
Quite adored some festive cake…
But alas, it's now not practical…
Crumbs! It’s a very bad mistake!
Yes, even just a glass of port –
It may really prove a danger!
Leaving dribbles on the floor –
Could there be a sight more stranger?
With decorations through each ear –
And a fairy on his head…
With a bauble for an eyeball –
Because it makes him feel less dead!
A crimson garland round his neck...
A little glitter on his clothes!
A string of lights across his shoulders –
And a fir cone up his nose!
He tries his hardest that’s for sure –
And he is certainly no slacker!
At least he’s never gonna choke –
Upon the contents of a cracker!
It’s just quite hard to be excited –
Or to embrace some Christmas cheer!
When it’s just not in your bones –
And you can’t grab a sneaky beer!
Well, he does his very best…
Despite the mess he may create!
Despite all the trials life deals –
When he’s early – still he’s late!


Christmastime for Mrs Skeleton –
Isn’t like for normal types…
So much mess goes on the floor!
She is awash with kitchen wipes!
Modern ways have not caught on –
Even though she now is dead!
With her husband fast asleep –
There’s still the budgie to be fed!
If she had her way she’d skip this –
It only gets her in a state…
She just looks silly decked in holly…
The dead don’t need to decorate…
No, they should lie within their graves –
And simply get some well-earned rest…
Maybe play a round of Snap…
But there’s no need for Sunday best!
There is no need to have the folks round;
There is no need to entertain…
Mrs S. she doesn’t want it –
For what on earth, now, can they gain?
Oh, what need they now with presents?
Yes, why need they swap a gift?
Mr S. still has his views –
“It simply gives the year a lift!”
It’s very easy though to say it…
But so much harder to arrange…
Mrs S she sits and dreams –
She’s really hoping for a change…
She will no longer wear that tinsel –
Keep stray baubles in her head…
No, she will face up to the fact –
That she’s okay with being dead!
Because this season ain’t for shopping –
It just wears out her bony feet…
It’s not for slaving in the kitchen –
On food she cannot ever eat!
There is no need for party games –
Nor to start that New Year diet!
This year all she wants for Christmas –
Is just a little peace and quiet…




CHRISTMASTIME FOR SKELETONS and all poems in this blog are copyright to Paul Chandler 2009.

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