Friday, November 06, 2009

SHY YETI - KING OF POLITICS!!

Hello,

This is a new poem which will appear next year in my new book: DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS... It's hot off the press and we really did have a visit from a certain PM at the place where I work, today. Did I really make him do the hoovering - YES - but do you think he'll ever admit to it? No... Politicians! They're all the same! Don't worry Gordy, we love you really... Yeah, right.

I'm off to my book launch later - and then off to Krakow - so more next once I return; one year older!!

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

THE DAY THE PRIME MINISTER CAME TO TEA…

The day the Prime Minister came to tea…
Oh, what a day so very thrilling…
I really put him on the spot -
I really gave him quite a grilling!
I showed where the hoover was -
He was so full of pomp and bluster…
But I really put him in his place -
And yes, I handed him a duster…
I had him drive me down to ASDA -
I had him do my weekly shop!
I could see him simply sulking -
But I wouldn't put up with his strop!
I sent him to the naughty corner -
I made him wear the dunces cap!
I made him say his twelve times table -
I wouldn't let him take a nap!
For there was far too much to do…
I had him putting up a shelf…
I had him cleaning out the shed…
I had him sharing out his wealth!
Yes, when the PM came to tea…
It was my gain - it was his loss!
I think he really got the message!
I think he saw that I was boss…


The day the Prime Minister came to tea…
I looked him full on in the eyes…
I think he saw who was in charge -
I had him mucking out the sties!
I had him on his hands and knees -
I had him picking up the litter…
Then I went out to have some fun -
I used him as a baby sitter…
It really made me feel much better -
For all the taxes that we pay…
He was good value for the money -
Sweeping up without delay…
But alas he made a little mess...
When I found out, yes I complained!
He may be leader of our country -
But, as yet, not toilet trained…
I ensured he knew for certain -
What was up, yeah - what was wrong!
They never learn unless you teach 'em -
You must be tough - you must be strong!
Yes, when the PM came to tea -
I really was a gracious host…
I had him scrubbing out the bath -
I had him making me some toast…


The day the Prime Minister came to tea…
I made him see the error of his ways…
I think we nearly shared a moment -
I'm sure I saw his longing gaze…
But I had to tell him to back off!
I had to tell him, sadly, no…
I'd never date down to his level -
I'm sure he found it quite a blow!
But he was there to do a job…
I had him cleaning out the pool!
I had him polishing my silver!
I had him wipe away my drool!
I had him wallpaper my boudoir!
I had him massaging my cat!
I could see he wasn't happy -
But I really have no truck with that!
He needs to learn a life of real work!
Not just the nice stuff he can choose!
I'll get him licking round the rim, next…
Scraping dog poo off my shoes!
The day the PM came to tea…
I did not charge him - not a shilling!
No, I should have really made him pay!
Yeah, I could have really made a killing!

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Tuesday, November 03, 2009


THE SHY LIFE - LIFE IS ALWAYS CHANGING!!!

As the date of THE SHY LIFE book launch rapidly approaches (it's this friday: 6th November...) I can now announce that THE SHY LIFE has put on a few pounds in weight since I first announced its birth last week...

It is now 256 pages long!! I decided to add a few as there was spare paper at the back of the proof copy I received. I could have removed 2 or added 6 and so I decided to add a small section covering the various covers and books that I have been working on during 2009! The price remains the same - so it's even better value than before...

There are also further changes!!

The cover of the paper back has changed - see below:


So only a limited edition went out with the previous cover - the link for the new edition remains the same as: http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/the-shy-life/7377262

There is also now a hardback cover too - as below:


It's £14.99 and the link to it is: http://www.lulu.com/content/hardcover-book/the-shy-life/7863920

It's also available to download from Lulu for just £4.99.

I hope you like the changes and will consider purchasing a copy at some stage, either from myself directly or from LULU.COM.

I'm off to Krakow for my birthday on sunday (although my birthday is Tuesday the 10th) - so they'll be more photos on this blogsite and in forthcoming books. DO YETI WEAR PYJAMAS? is still continuing well and I'm on my way to have almost 40 poems complete. To finish with - here is another poem from: THE SHY LIFE... Pretty soon I'll begin posting up a few of the even newer ones - as well as giving details of some forthcoming BLOGTV shows in late November. I am also beginning to get back to work on the next MOUSE OF COMMONS book too: POSTCARDS FROM MCWHISKERS... But more on that on www.mouseofcommons.blogspot.com as things progress...

I hope you like the poem, it's one of my favourites from the new book and was written almost exactly this time last year when I was away in Oslo for my birthday.

Yeti hugs,

Paul xx

THE UNAFFORDABLE FJORD


He bought a fjord –
He couldn’t afford…
His wife she nearly had kittens…
“Do step aboard…
My lovely fjord!
But it’s cold –
So I suggest you wear mittens!”


His wife wasn’t pleased…
“I might well FREEZE!!
I won’t step upon something that icy!”
He made plaintive pleas;
Down on bended knees…
She said;
“Well, I shall go – but it’s gonna be pricey…”



He bought a fjord –
He couldn’t afford…
Well, his wife’s frozen looks made him shiver…
“My darling, Maud…
This almighty fjord;
Will be good for your heart and your liver…”


His wife gave a scowl…
As he passed her a towel…
As she sat on the ice oh-so chilly…
Well, she gave a loud howl…
Like some rambunctious owl!
But soon grew accustomed and then felt quite silly…



Yes, he bought a fjord –
He couldn’t afford…
But in the end this alone saved his marriage…
This is true and no fraud!
Yes, he would pilot that fjord –
And his wife would ride it…
Like a queen in her very own carriage!

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